Oh boy! Summer is upon us and it is F-U-N. At least for my 4 year old son that doesn’t realize how terrifying it can be for us, the parents. Summer comes with outdoor snacking. Snacking on PB&J sandwiches, peanut butter cups, payday bars for the new mom, fun size snickers bar. Wrappers strewn about the park; EVERYWHERE. I taught my kid what littering was at the age of 18 months. I also taught him to NOT pick up garbage off the ground even if he’s seen me do it multiple times. My kid is not just ‘allergic’ to nuts and peanuts. He’s DEATHLY allergic to them. He ingests one bite and that can be it. So allowing him to have ‘free’ play in the park amongst snacking kids means that I’m always around. It can be both overwhelming and frustrating. Seeing the moms and nannies give their kids these treats and then allowing them to climb the slides and touch the swings with their stained hands scares the shit out of me. I have learned to make it fun though. He has gotten to understand why I am the way I am even though he’ll never remember that frightful night he went into anaphylaxis. His dad and I are the only ones who talk about it and tear up over it. He not knowing is a blessing and also a curse. He doesn’t understand the consequences of our diligence but respects them enough to abide by them. It has helped that he is also allergic to Dairy and will break out into hives almost immediately after exposure. That bothers him because the irritation is all too real and quite bothersome. He’ll let you know afterwards that he can no longer have it because it ‘hurts’ to be itchy. With nuts, I think he thinks it’s MORE hives? I’m not sure yet. We talk about it constantly and the education is there but the realization is not. Thank God? How DO you tell a 4 year old that death is looming if he is around these substances. I have tried and he’ll gaze at me with this naive intensity. I think he gets it then he’ll ask days later if he can have an M&M because his ‘friend’ said that they’re delicious. AHHHHHHHHHH!
Now with the baby being tested soon, we will find out if he too is allergic to anything. He seems to have the same eczema pattern that the older one did before he was diagnosed. If the baby is allergic then older brother will find a companion in him. If the baby is not then we educate, educate, educate and ACCEPT that. We will still follow the NO NUTS rule in the house but maybe the baby can have a special treat when away from older brother and home. I never in a million years thought my kid would have such a life sentence and I am even more clueless on what to do if the baby doesn’t have the same issues. My kid never got to enjoy the Cow’s milk in a sippy cup phase. Once he weaned from the breast, he was on formula for a couple months because I got sick and couldn’t nurse him for a weekend. I guess that was enough for him to take to formula. He then went on to organic Enriched SOY milk. Never has he tasted milk. Or cheese. Or yogurt. So hubby and I have ALWAYS known it to be this way. What if baby goes on to drink whole milk, crave cheese in his macaroni. Want that gogurt that kids go crazy over. Ask for a Butterfinger that his older brother will never be able to have. The baby is 8 months old now and we will find out his allergies within the month. So what am I saying? Do I want a partner for my son, do I want to experience a different way with this one, do I not care and will wing whatever it is that comes my way? So many questions and no answers. I simply don’t know. I care. But I will not be consumed by this fear of the unknown. Something is about to change I know that much. I can’t not roll with the punches for both my kids’ sake. I can’t punish one because of the other and I can’t sit back and not do anything.
So let’s see on what happens. The waiting game has begun.
Why Hard Work doesn’t always pay off
I was born and raised in one of the toughest neighborhoods of Chicago dreaming of a more sophisticated life style and not the ‘hustle’ I grew up around. I am now living my life the way I want to as opposed to early on when I thought money and hard work mattered above everything else. Money makes the world go round, and I am a BIG fan of circles. I’m also hard working. BUT…..and it is a HUGE but…..I do not let either of those things RUN my life. I will not work myself to death. I will not make OR spend money like there is no tomorrow. Everything in moderation is attractive. It really is. I’m not knocking hard work by any means; it’s because of that one trait I got from my parents that keeps me above water at all times. It’s the emphasis people put on ‘hard work’ that bothers me. It feels to me that we as an ‘American’ society are always on the ‘lookout.’ If anyone ever watched Carlos Mencia’s comic bit, MIND OF MENCIA, they would realize how sad it is to have a hurried lunch so that no one will take your place in the job market. That mindset goes for all the jobs I’ve seen. Even the highly skilled who can get an hour lunch eat like their life is depending on it. FAST! Why? Because they don’t want the bosses to think they’re too lax. They want to go back to work as soon as they can so they can become even more efficient and even more available if that’s even any ‘more’ possible. Families suffer because we’re expected to ALWAYS be on the clock. A boss will throw in an afternoon off because it’s somewhat expected of you to check in later and see what you missed during your afternoon sabbatical! How is that a sabbatical? That’s more like a siesta that I witnessed in India and Pakistan first hand when I went to go visit family. The reason for their ‘sabbatical’ is to escape the treacherous heat and to allow their employees to see k shelter during the hottest hours of the day. Usually being from noon to 3pm. To avoid heat exhaustion! What’s our excuse for a sabbatical?? Hell let me out at 4pm everyday and I’m GOLD!
It’s hard to know what came first, us forced to work longer hours without extra consideration for our sanity, family time, physical well being…OR our willingness to get sucked into the hyper workforce so that we don’t fall behind the developing countries? It is a problem though, for me at least. Visiting family in Switzerland really changed things for me. I had just lost my workaholic dad suddenly the year before. I was finally winding down from the craziness of my 20s, and our kid went into anaphylaxis from ingesting a piece of chocolate laced with hazelnut. Using an Epipen up in the mountains of a foreign country was the scariest most realistic moment for a parent. To literally almost losing your child and trying to get help late at night when the roads are closed off to the mountains and you see nothing but darkness around you. It is not only humbling but the adrenaline that pumps through your veins as a parent is something like out of the movies. Everything went into slow motion. EVERYTHING but my kid’s allergic reaction. Even talking about it now is only for awareness, I still get emotional, sick to my stomach and wish and pray that he will continue to be ok moving forward. This unfortunate incident changed us forever. All of a sudden nothing mattered more than family. US. Both hubby and I became vigilant in educating family members, hell even ourselves. None of us have ever known anyone with such allergies, not to this extent anyways.
I learned when I was working that we are all EXPENDABLE, replaceable. Even now as I sip my Starbucks latte I can tell I am a still that woman of my youth but with more realistic goals. I no longer believe in killing my soul in a relationship that’s not going to go anywhere, it could be a friendship, a courtship, a family remember that will never welcome you without judgment or even a boss that you know will always pass you up for a promotion because he/she is just not ready to invest in you a 100%. And that my friends is A-OKAY! Why? Because when you learn that these things will not change and that you can, for your sake, stuff just starts falling into place. Now I’m not giving advice to quit your job, finally chew out your boss, tell your aunt to go screw herself because you don’t have time to help her when her perfectly healthy son is too busy hanging out with his friends, or strangle the immature boyfriend who refuses to leave you to your friends alone for even 20 minutes in fear of you developing any sense of independence from him. I’m saying to reevaluate your life goals. If you finally want to write a book, do it. If you want to go travel, go find one place that’s appealing at the moment and just go. My dad wanted to do so many things and he didn’t in fear of not being readily available to whoever might need him.
Do your job, do it well. Parent your children. Laugh with them. Hold them. Tell your partner he/she is the best thing since sliced bread because mine is and God do I want to tell him ALL the time. Even right now my house is a mess, clean laundry needing to be folded, clean dishwasher waiting to be unloaded. Fresh veggies and fruits waiting to be cut on the countertop. My teething baby is asleep so I finally sat down with my coffee and decided to go on a rant. Things will always get done. I’m doing what I need to do for my soul. The rest of the stuff can wait.
Just a thought
I just realized my title from the previous post reminds me of an episode I watched on Seinfeld and I couldn’t help but chuckle. I love the humor on that show.
‘A young girl’s erotic journey from Milan to Minsk’ 😂😂😂😂
Things you may not know about me:
I’ve never watched the movie Jurassic Park.
I’m not a fan of any type of sausage.
I love doing laundry. The whole act of it gets me high.
I LOVE wearing short skirts.
I’m annoyed with people who are dressed inappropriately for the weather. Sandals in 40* weather, babies with legs showing part way during colder months. It all drives me insane.
I HAVE to have my toe nails painted
I rub my forehead and head when I’m tired. My mom says it’s what guys do, I learned it from my dad, and I miss him daily. Rest In Peace dad.
I knew my first born was a boy from conception. There was never any doubt.
I understand old people
I DON’T understand young people
I LOVED Jay Leno from the moment I saw his first show at the age of 10.
I hate little cars. I don’t like to drive them nor sit in them. I’ve always enjoyed BIG American cars. I’d rather drive a minivan than a small Japanese car
I’m great at parallel parking
I love to run
I’d like to write a play one day
I get stage fright
I was known as conceded but really I was deathly shy. I’ve gotten MUCH better over the years
I couldn’t accept my wedding ring at first. It was not my style to flaunt such a diamond
I have great skin because I moisturize everyday like a crazy person. It’s a 10-15 minute process
I love dogs especially big fluffy ones but am afraid of them
I didn’t like ice cream until I started dating my husband at the age of 23.
I didn’t like desserts/pastries until I got pregnant with my first born.
I thought I always wanted long straight hair
I hate walking barefoot
I can never walk on grass barefoot. Never. Let alone sit on it
I have always related to older woman.
I don’t like the taste of coffee anymore but I LOVE STARBUCKS.
I LOVE chocolate chip cookies. I can NEVER get enough.
Even though my family is from India I like steak potatoes over Indian food.
I knew my husband was my soul mate from the moment I saw him.
So there. Just to give you guys an idea of how quirky I am 🙂
Hello world!
This is my very first post. Last time I wrote something was for med school so this should be quite interesting. I am a mommy to two boys ages 4 years old and 7 months old. My oldest suffers from many food allergies, tree nuts and peanuts being the major ones. I’m hoping by writing about our journey dealing with his allergies all the while teaching him to become independently aware of his surroundings will help him to understand he is not alone in this. In this blog I will also be talking about all the antics I go through, some on a daily basis, some only when my husband isn’t around. But ALWAYS able to laugh at myself afterwards, sometimes during. HA!
See you all real soon!
Shagufta
Food Allergies Suck 