I was born and raised in one of the toughest neighborhoods of Chicago dreaming of a more sophisticated life style and not the ‘hustle’ I grew up around. I am now living my life the way I want to as opposed to early on when I thought money and hard work mattered above everything else. Money makes the world go round, and I am a BIG fan of circles. I’m also hard working. BUT…..and it is a HUGE but…..I do not let either of those things RUN my life. I will not work myself to death. I will not make OR spend money like there is no tomorrow. Everything in moderation is attractive. It really is. I’m not knocking hard work by any means; it’s because of that one trait I got from my parents that keeps me above water at all times. It’s the emphasis people put on ‘hard work’ that bothers me. It feels to me that we as an ‘American’ society are always on the ‘lookout.’ If anyone ever watched Carlos Mencia’s comic bit, MIND OF MENCIA, they would realize how sad it is to have a hurried lunch so that no one will take your place in the job market. That mindset goes for all the jobs I’ve seen. Even the highly skilled who can get an hour lunch eat like their life is depending on it. FAST! Why? Because they don’t want the bosses to think they’re too lax. They want to go back to work as soon as they can so they can become even more efficient and even more available if that’s even any ‘more’ possible. Families suffer because we’re expected to ALWAYS be on the clock. A boss will throw in an afternoon off because it’s somewhat expected of you to check in later and see what you missed during your afternoon sabbatical! How is that a sabbatical? That’s more like a siesta that I witnessed in India and Pakistan first hand when I went to go visit family. The reason for their ‘sabbatical’ is to escape the treacherous heat and to allow their employees to see k shelter during the hottest hours of the day. Usually being from noon to 3pm. To avoid heat exhaustion! What’s our excuse for a sabbatical?? Hell let me out at 4pm everyday and I’m GOLD!

It’s hard to know what came first, us forced to work longer hours without extra consideration for our sanity, family time, physical well being…OR our willingness to get sucked into the hyper workforce so that we don’t fall behind the developing countries? It is a problem though, for me at least. Visiting family in Switzerland really changed things for me. I had just lost my workaholic dad suddenly the year before. I was finally winding down from the craziness of my 20s, and our kid went into anaphylaxis from ingesting a piece of chocolate laced with hazelnut. Using an Epipen up in the mountains of a foreign country was the scariest most realistic moment for a parent. To literally almost losing your child and trying to get help late at night when the roads are closed off to the mountains and you see nothing but darkness around you. It is not only humbling but the adrenaline that pumps through your veins as a parent is something like out of the movies. Everything went into slow motion. EVERYTHING but my kid’s allergic reaction. Even talking about it now is only for awareness, I still get emotional, sick to my stomach and wish and pray that he will continue to be ok moving forward. This unfortunate incident changed us forever. All of a sudden nothing mattered more than family. US. Both hubby and I became vigilant in educating family members, hell even ourselves. None of us have ever known anyone with such allergies, not to this extent anyways.

I learned when I was working that we are all EXPENDABLE, replaceable. Even now as I sip my Starbucks latte I can tell I am a still that woman of my youth but with more realistic goals. I no longer believe in killing my soul in a relationship that’s not going to go anywhere, it could be a friendship, a courtship, a family remember that will never welcome you without judgment or even a boss that you know will always pass you up for a promotion because he/she is just not ready to invest in you a 100%. And that my friends is A-OKAY! Why? Because when you learn that these things will not change and that you can, for your sake, stuff just starts falling into place. Now I’m not giving advice to quit your job, finally chew out your boss, tell your aunt to go screw herself because you don’t have time to help her when her perfectly healthy son is too busy hanging out with his friends, or strangle the immature boyfriend who refuses to leave you to your friends alone for even 20 minutes in fear of you developing any sense of independence from him. I’m saying to reevaluate your life goals. If you finally want to write a book, do it. If you want to go travel, go find one place that’s appealing at the moment and just go. My dad wanted to do so many things and he didn’t in fear of not being readily available to whoever might need him.
Do your job, do it well. Parent your children. Laugh with them. Hold them. Tell your partner he/she is the best thing since sliced bread because mine is and God do I want to tell him ALL the time. Even right now my house is a mess, clean laundry needing to be folded, clean dishwasher waiting to be unloaded. Fresh veggies and fruits waiting to be cut on the countertop. My teething baby is asleep so I finally sat down with my coffee and decided to go on a rant. Things will always get done. I’m doing what I need to do for my soul. The rest of the stuff can wait.